So You Think You Can’t Dance, Think Again

Hello and welcome to a special Easter Sunday special edition of Ib’s World. 

Now, while most of the Christians out there are celebrating the indecisiveness of one bearded man, death or shall I come back for more, a bit like Stars in Their Eyes. I wonder who Jesus would do on that show. My bet would be Tom Jones or even his good old hanger on Cliff Richard. It would be great if he came out as David Bowie or even Robert Smith from The Cure. Anyways….I wanted to take this opportunity to celebrate a religion all on it’s own and one that everyone should follow. The religion of DANCE!!!!!!!!!

Now you have all heard the wonderous song by Baz Luhrmann called Everybody is Free to Wear Sunscreen and the great lyric embedded in the song: “Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.” This resonates so much with me because it is exactly how I feel about most things, dancing is the cure to all ailments and keeps you sane.

Now I am going to profess something to you, which I probably shouldn’t on the world wide web, but I dance in my underwear every morning for at least 20 minutes a day. It is the most liberating experience in the universe and it is the greatest stress reliever I have come across and sets me up perfectly for the rest of the day.

Just think about it, some of the best moments of your life will be when you were dancing your fucking ass off. Whether it be in clubs with your best friends, in your kitchen while making some awesome food, bringing in the new year or as a child with your favourite grandparent. Dancing is something you can do by yourself or with a group of people or just one other person. It is the drug of life that makes you feel great especially when you are dancing to an awesome tune like Justin Timberlake’s Sexyback or N*E*R*D*s She Wants To Move. My personal favourite is to dance my tits off to Young The Giant’s My Body  The roaring chorus, the drums pounding like a machine and the heady bassline, all contribute to me wanting to get up off my highly sprung horse and just boogie until I feel like a child who has first discovered ice cream. ENDORPHINS!!! It releases them, this is science telling you to dance. All those guys working hard in labs just for that moment of discovery that will change the world will most likely find it while they are dancing the funky chicken or cutting shapes like a ninja with rheumatism. 

You can do so many different types of dancing. You can dance slowly to D’angelo, rock back and forth like children on copious amounts of speed, you can tango or salsa, you can hip-hop slalom your way through a room like the biggest badass known to man or you can pull off the light switch move that will have everyone jealous of you. The dancing world is your oyster and you should dance how it feels natural to you and not care what everyone else thinks. I think people are usually jealous of people who have the audacity to dance wherever they see fit. It’s a great trait to have because it is infectious. 

People who get stuffy about people who dance or think that they are stupid for dancing because it is not the done thing, haven’t lived a day in their life. They are most probably miserable and living in a dark room, wanking themselves into a stupor over the latest edition of twat weekly. DANCE until you can’t feel anything anymore. If you want to learn Nathan Barnatt will teach you like this: Just look at the enjoyment in his face and satisfaction you get from seeing someone dance their face off.

So people, I implore you, in all seriousness, when you are feeling down, to put the radio on (not Radio 1, it is shite) or put your favourite tune on as loud as possible and just moves those limbs in anyway you see fit. Life will improve if you do this, I promise. If you want a great radio show to dance to, check out Craig Charles Funk & Soul Show on Radio 6 at 6 on Saturdays, I guarantee you will be off your feet before you know it and uncontrollably moving those legs to the impressive rhythms. I want people to put videos on Youtube of them dancing to their favourite song and just going nuts because it would make the world a better place. Imagine if parliament had a ten minute interval during their debates to dance their nuts off to some dutty dubstep. Problems with the country would get solved a lot quicker. Same if you went in for a doctors appointment and your doctor was struggling for a diagnosis and he just said “let’s dance” I figure you would be cured or he would have come up with a diagnosis in that time. 

Please just dance your face off and make the world a better place as one great dancer once said.




One response to “So You Think You Can’t Dance, Think Again

  1. Pingback: The beginning | The Web and I·

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